"This second example would elicit powerful emotions in anyone.

Innocent children are notorious for tripping fear, obligation or guilt triggers. The problem is often more a matter of how they are going about getting what they want, or that they are insensitive to others' needs in doing so that is troubling—and how others react to all of this.Under pressure, one may become a sort of hostage, forced to act under pressure of the threat of responsibility for the other's Forward and Frazier identify four blackmail types each with their own There are different levels of demands—demands that are of little consequence, demands that involve important issues or personal Addicts often believe that being in control is how to achieve success and happiness in life. The main tool of the trade, Forward says, is FOG: fear, obligation, and guilt.

"Emotional Blackmail" and "FOG", terms coined by psychotherapist Susan Forward, Ph.D., are about controlling relationships and the theory that fear, obligation or guilt ("FOG") are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled. If it seems as if behaviors may escalate to this, do not go it alone. Several children, on the other hand, can be trained by emotional blackmail. According to Susan Forward, Ph.D. (Forward and Frazier 1997), emotional blackmail is a "powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten, directly or indirectly, to punish us if we don't do what they want." Emotional blackmail is a type of manipulation that's sometimes hard to spot. The Manipulated Man, Bantam/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, Inc. Sue Bishop, Develop Your Assertiveness (2006) p. 13 In many ways, this problem is more disturbing and costly for us as we are the ones on the short end of the transaction. Knowing that someone close to them wants love, approval or confirmation of The person who is acting in a controlling way often wants something from the other person that is legitimate to want. We are not helpless. We break down how it works and ways to respond. In her book, Emotional Blackmail, Susan Forward uses the acronym FOG to represent Fear, Obligation and Guilt. People who follow this rule use it as a survival skill, having usually learned it in childhood.

FOG: Emotional blackmail, although incredibly powerful and hurtful, can become normalized by both the receiver, and the doer. These emotions become even more powerful when the dysfunctional coping is coming from someone very important to us - a child, a parent or a spouse - or when a person has financial or physical power over us. The first documented use of "emotional blackmail" appeared in 1947 in the Emotional blackmail typically involves two people who have established a close personal or intimate relationship (parent and child, spouses, siblings, or two close friends).Emotional blackmailers use fear, obligation and guilt in their relationships, ensuring that others feel afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way and swamped by guilt if they resist. This is not the problem. Emotional blackmail is often present in distressed relationships--MLCer and spouse or MLCer and OW. But we often miss out on these signs as these people can appear to be so charming that you easily submit to their needs. Generally, the closer or more power-based the relationship is, the stronger and more emotional the reaction will be from us.Nonetheless, it may be most empowering to think of fear, obligation or guilt as our response to the psychological defenses and dysfunctional coping of others - often people who are immature or suffering with addictions, depression, personality disorders, etc.Controlling behavior and being controlled is a transaction between two people with both playing a part -- the "The transaction has four parts: the demand, the resistance, pressure and threats, and compliance.There are are a number of styles of controlling behavior.

A person who uses emotional blackmail typically uses the Fear-Emotion-Guilt tactic. The main tool of the trade, Forward says, is FOG: fear, obligation, and guilt. Forward and Frazier’s labeling of this dynamic with inflammatory terms such as "Think about it.

Emotional blackmail and FOG are terms, popularized by psychotherapist Susan Forward, about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation and guilt (FOG) are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled. It eats away at us and escalates until it puts our most important relationships and our whole sense of self-respect in jeopardy.

"To instill obedience into an only child, the mother has to evolve complex methods to outsmart and persuade it, and get it to see reason; or it has to be punished. Help.

As they are all dependent on their mother's approval, she has only to show a slight preference for one and the others will do anything she tells them to. Visibility is very important in abusive situations; friends, family, lawyers, the police - all can have a significant centering effect on someone who dysreglates into abusive behavior.

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